Assault, Beauty, Dating, Domestic Violence, Feminism, Health, Ideals, Life, Life Lessons, rape, Relationships, Self Defense, Sex, Sexual Assault, Uncategorized, Women, Women Empowerment

Callie’s Story: A Silent Cry for Help

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

This is Callie’s story. The name has been changed to protect her identity. She was comfortable enough to share the location of the events. This is in an interview format. Here is the link to the first part of this series: It’s 2017 and We Still Aren’t Safe from Sexual Assault

Here are the other stories in this series: Mary Kay’s Story: When Pressure Turns to TortureAshlee’s Story: Repeated Abuse Since Childhood

I’m compelled to add that if you or anyone sees domestic violence or sexual assault happening, you should report it. Please do not turn a blind eye. So many people are in precarious situations and they are silently begging for help. HELP THEM! Here are a list of resources: RAINNDomestic Violence Coalition

What compelled you to share your story?
I have never told anyone but my now husband about the abuse.  I just had our child and I feel like it is my responsibility to come to terms with what happened to me and try to be strong enough to one day publicly speak out.

Where did the incident take place?
There were too many incidents and locations to count. His home, the high school, my home, the city park, restaurants and stores.

Did you know the attacker?
He was my boyfriend at the time.  I was freshly 16 and he was 20.

What happened?
I met Chris at Community Days in DuBois, Pa.  I was with some girlfriends and he came up to us with a group of his friends.  He was so charismatic and handsome; I was immediately smitten.  He would build me up and make me feel so wanted.  About two months into our two-year relationship he changed.  He became physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive towards me.  Physically he would push me, hold me down, and hit me.  One night when I was at his home he pushed me down a flight of stairs. His mother watched it happen and just walked away.  He would tell me no one but him would ever love me and that if I left him he would kill me and my family.

I truly believed all the things he said to me; I was so young I didn’t know better.  I was basically screaming for help without actually telling anyone, and no one noticed.  I was sent to psychologists and put on medication, and still no one helped me out of this relationship. 

When I had just turned 18, his brother punched me for absolutely no reason one day.

I somehow got the courage to put an end to our relationship.  I stopped answering any kind of communication from him.  He started standing outside of my home and work and would just stare me down. He would send me terrible threats through Facebook and text.  My now husband would walk me to and from my car at work.  I actually moved to Pittsburgh for a bit because I was so scared.  Eventually he stopped contacting me, but he found out I had moved back to DuBois several years ago and told a mutual friend that he was going to get me back.  I began seeing him walking in my neighborhood, my husband and I decided to move out-of-town. We’ve kept our address a secret for this reason.

Did you seek legal help? And if so, how long did you wait before getting the courage to come forward?
I did not. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know where to go.  I also felt people would not understand why I couldn’t just leave for so long.

How has this affected your life?
I am constantly looking over my shoulder.  I have run into him three times in stores, and each time I was able to make out to my car before having a full blown panic attack.

If you had any advice for other survivors, what would it be?
You are not alone, and you are worth so much more than you think!

If you could say anything to your attacker, what would you say?
You took advantage of a young girl. You knew what you were doing and you are still doing it to other girls.   You shattered everything about me into pieces. I lost who I was.  In spite of you, I have found a good and kind man and I have a wonderful life now.  You were wrong!

Uncategorized

Absentee Blogging

I haven’t blogged in a very long time. And I wanted to give you a bit of insight as to why I haven’t been writing down my thoughts.

I’ve been living out in the world.

First, this year has been a whirlwind. We bought a house. I’ve spent the better part of the last two months trying to get this house organized. It has taken me forever.

Why?

Oh, because I’m also pregnant.

Today marks 34 Weeks of stretching, puking, sleeping, straining and loving that I didn’t know was humanly possible.

I wanted you to know that I’ll blog about my journey when I find the energy. It will be a long blog. And I’ll blog about our little princess too. Because she is changing our lives for the better.

It amazes me what love can do 🙂

Adventure, America, Beauty, Bucket List, Death, Faith, Family, Health, Ideals, Life Lessons, Loss, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Suicide Prevention, Terrorism, Uncategorized, Women Empowerment

How Social Media is Destroying Humanity

When we think about humanity as whole, what do we think? We think of a species, the Homo sapiens. We think of a superior species that has been set to rule over the rest of the creatures on this planet.

However, it’s becoming clearer every single day that we are a species that is digressing at a rapid rate. Much of that has to do with social media.

Before social media took over the world as we know it, human beings were forced to do this terrible and archaic thing known as actually talking and communicating with each other.  We had to, dare I say it, speak to other people. We had to find out what makes them tick. We had to find out their secrets.

We had to actually care.

We do not care any more. We only care about something when it is trending on Twitter or is ranked highly on Facebook. Otherwise, we do not care about anything.

Last week was the first time I openly mentioned my depression online because of the tragic passing of Robin Williams. I told my story to provide an outlet for others that are suffering from depression to come forward. I battled back from trying to commit suicide. And to this day, I can say that successfully without any medication, I manage my symptoms with self-affirmation. I came forward and was happy to see that many people reached out to me to say that I made them feel more secure in themselves. They felt like they could share their stories. They, like me, shared one similar sentiment:

Why does it take a major tragedy for us to talk about such a serious problem terrorizing people all over this country?

The answer: Because unless it’s on social media, NO ONE CARES!

I saw the trending Tweets: #suicideprevention #depression and so on and so forth. I saw them, and while it made me happy….Deep down, I was mad. I was mad because no one cares enough to talk about this unless it’s a trending Twitter topic. It showed me that people are becoming less and less human. Our depth of caring is at an all-time low.

Fast forward two days and we have the Ice Bucket Challenge. And everyone forgets about their #suicideprevention tags

Now, I support causes for charity 100%. That’s not my complaint with this scenario. My complaint is that, once again, we need something to trend on Facebook or Twitter for us to care about a terrible disease. What is even worse in my eyes is that instead of just challenging people, we are wasting clean water. Literally. This is America and I get that we have clean water. But let us consider the thousands upon thousands of people all over this world that would kill to drink the water we are pouring over our heads to avoid a donation to charity. Originally, you were supposed to donate as well as do the challenge. However, along the lines it became, do the challenge or donate.

Seriously. You are dumping clean water that millions would die to drink over your heads to avoid a major contribution to a charity that helps cure a terrible disease?
ARE WE THAT ARROGANT?

And to everyone that keeps saying, “But it’s raising awareness.”
You are missing my point. You really are. And I do not know how to make it clearer.
You should always care about people with terrible diseases and you should donate to them as often as you can. You should care. ALL of the time. You should not waste clean water when so many people are not fortunate to have that luxury. There is a little kid without shoes in a third world country drinking water out of a sewer right now while you avoid donating money to charity with your ice!

And, in a few days. #ALS will not see any donations. They will go back to seeking out donations that no one will want to donate to because it is no longer a trending Twitter topic.

And not to mention, that ALL charities need our assistance and by “requiring” people to donate a large sum to one charity disinclined them to donate to multiple because they cannot afford it. I am very happy that so many people donated to this charity, but the premise is not right. We should not need to plaster ourselves over social media to donate to charity just so we can trend on Twitter or Facebook.

If it were not for business purposes or networking for causes I believed in, I would delete Facebook and Twitter. Besides the fact that people want to “trend” the amount of defamation and slander on these sites is astronomical.

And we wonder why the world hates us.
We are arrogant. Nothing more. We are extremely arrogant. The reason terrorists come to our country to commit mass murders is because we are arrogant. The reason some of our citizens snap and go on shooting sprees is because we are arrogant.

WE NEED TO STOP.

We need to stop being arrogant and start caring about our fellow man. We need to donate to charity because it’s right. We need to talk to people so that they know they are not alone.

WE NEED TO CARE.

But most of all….

We need to evolve.

 

Adventure, America, Beauty, Family, God, government, Ideals, Life Lessons, Love, Politics, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Terrorism, Uncategorized

How to Speak American

And Crown Thy Good With Brotherhood From Sea to Shining Sea

The funny thing about that statement is how much the people of America do not actually follow it. You all know what I am talking about, the Coca-Cola Super Bowl Ad that has caused an uproar across the nation.

Because only in the United States would people be so ignorant and selfish to get angry over a commercial that expresses unity.

It doesn’t matter which language it was spoken in, we all knew what it meant. Coca-Cola wanted to express that there is diversity in America and that diversity should be embraced for all people to see.

Let’s take a look at the video here:

Oh my gosh are those people of different races speaking different languages? OH THE HORROR.
Bite Me.

I’m honestly surprised more people didn’t whine about the fact that the line “God Shed His Grace On Thee” was left in the song because that seems to be the standard for people these days. Anyway, the #speakamerican uproar does nothing but show the true ignorance of some of the people in our nation. For one, the Europeans stole this land from the Native Americans, so if you want to speak English, why don’t you ferry your ass back to England where it originated from? The only people who should have any right to complain about an official original language for this nation are the Native American people. The rest of the American people need to shut up because they are not descended from people who actually lived here. Two, did you, the educated people of this country also know that American isn’t actually a language? Are you smart enough to actually grasp that concept? That’s just as bad as saying people from Mexico speak Mexican instead of Spanish. And the whole immigration issue. How about all of you “home-grown” people who hate illegals realize that your ancestors were immigrants! I for one think the Native Americans should have been just as judgmental and rude as the people of the USA are today. Then they wouldn’t have been put on reservations and treated like a subhuman species! They NEEDED a better immigration policy and should have turned every one of those English away instead of trying to educate them and help them survive!

Let’s say we adopt English as our formal language. Which dialect of English do we pick?  Do we pick the mid-west? How about the New England, more specifically the Bostonian dialect of English….or better yet, let’s pick the New Orleans dialect of English and speak Cajun English?

Oh…….wait, even our English is multi-cultural? WHAT? NO WAY!

The differences in saying in my household alone are crazy because I was born in Pennsylvania and my fiance was born in North Carolina. The first time he told me to “cut the light” I looked at him in utter confusion. For those of you that don’t know, it’s common place in his hometown and below the Mason Dixon line to say that when they want to turn something off. Eventually, I got that he wanted me to do that, and turned off the light.

I imagine when the forefathers of the America as we know it, not the America that was stolen from the Natives, got together that they didn’t imagine the people of this nation would be so ignorant to the problems of the world and the people in their own country. I imagine they felt we would evolve and get along with one another independent of our differences.

If anything, this #speakamerican trend is doing nothing but spitting in their faces. Every single person that posted something condemning this commercial should be ashamed of themselves and their ignorance to the world around them. The world does NOT revolve around you. Use the brain in your head to realize there is more to life then the house and community you live in. Stop clinging to your gun because it won’t save you from yourself. Stop clinging to your Bible  and abusing it because you are NOT acting in the name of Jesus Christ AT ALL. Jesus healed the afflicted and helped people. He didn’t give a shit about what language someone spoke.

And while we are on the subject: If you believe in Jesus……..Jesus wasn’t white either. Just FYI. He was born in the Middle East….so he’s the stereotypical definition of Un-American to all of you that are assholes and say it is in his name.

One nation.
A nation divided.
Because people still after how many years of evolution aren’t smart enough to put their differences aside.

If you want to speak “American” it’s really simple: Be an entitled ass that does not care about anyone else. You will then be right on your way to speaking American.

Adventure, Death, Dogs, Dying, Faith, Family, God, Ideals, Life Lessons, Loss, Love, Pet Ownership, Pets, Relationships, Self Improvement, Tragedy, Uncategorized

2013: A Call to Change and a Call to Faith

When I graduated from DuBois Central Catholic High School in DuBois, Pennsylvania in 2007, I really did not see my life heading in the direction that it went in. I had 57 other classmates heading into the world with me, which was very shortly cut to 56 a month after us graduating. We had big dreams to say the least. When I graduated I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I just headed to Penn State University in the hopes that I would figure it out as I went along. I spent four years there earning my Bachelors in Journalism with a minor in English. I loved writing and I loved taking pictures…..

and I knew somehow I wanted to change the world with them. I just had to keep faith that I could.

Part of growing up in a Catholic school was learning how to keep your faith. My class was like one giant family, and no matter where we head in life, we still are.  The school bound us together in faith and in love. At any given moment we can come together after being apart for months, and pick up right where we left off.

This year, my faith was tested numerous times, and I firmly believe that because of the class I had, my family and the teachers I had, I succeeded the tests.

This year was a year of love in many ways: Love in Death, Love in New Life, and Love for Eternity.

When I was in high school I told myself I was never going to get married until I was in my 30s, if I got married at all. I spent time talking to my friends about not wanting to settle down because I didn’t want to wake up next to the same person. I just wanted to have fun.

Flash forward seven years and I have a diamond on my ring finger.

I am a firm believer in soul mates. I saw it in my grandparents every day up until he passed away in February. And I’m a firm believer that it’s not something that can really be explained, it’s merely something that can be felt. I could say a million words about how I feel when I’m with Kyle, but none of those words can ever come close to the actual feeling. I’ve seen it a few times this year in people’s engagements besides mine and in people’s weddings. And I can say out of the engagements and weddings that I’ve witnessed, I believe every one of them is with their soul mate. And I believe that only God could have brought them together, just like he brought me and Kyle together. There is literally no rhyme or reason to how Kyle and I met, but I’m glad it happened.

Another thing I witnessed this year, was baby mania. I have never seen so many people I know get pregnant and pop out children. And every last one of those kids is absolutely adorable. It’s an amazing thing to see. I can see parts of the parents in each of the children, but I love babies the most because they have beautiful souls. They just radiate faith and hope. And it’s beautiful. And with new life also comes death, which I witnessed a few times this year. I started out with my grandfather’s death in February, and in August, Kyle’s grandma passed away. Through it all, I maintained the faith I had because it kept me going. And by doing so, it helped me make peace with death in general. Death isn’t as final as some people make it out to be, it just depends on how much faith you have.

With all of this faith, I have come to the end of 2013. There are 18 days left and tomorrow I’m going to continue to test myself by going to a local animal shelter and adopting a dog. Next to babies, I feel animals have the purest souls. In fact, I may rank them above, but it’s definitely close. I said I wanted to make a difference, and I can’t think of a better way to do that then giving a dog a forever home. Personally, I wish I could take them all, but I know I cannot do that. That’s where the testing comes in: knowing that I am strong enough to handle a fragile soul for life and walking away from those that deserve the same thing. If I had to ask for one specific thing for Christmas, it’s that every animal have a loving home. That’s what I want.

When I got my second tattoo, it was inspired by a quote that changed my life. That quote is, “Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.”

I read it after my grandpa passed away and it stuck with me because during his funeral, I sang every song.  Now granted, I had popped a Xanax because I get anxiety sometimes, but, I sang as loud as I could because I wanted him to hear me. The priest even said to me as I walked out of church, “I see you’re still singing. That’s good.”

I had to, because at that moment, with all of the emotion, I had to sing.

Change is inevitable, but if you have enough faith, change can be enlightening and rewarding.

America, Beauty, Family, Ideals, Life Lessons, Politics, Relationships, Royal Baby, Self Improvement, Travel, Uncategorized

God Save The States

When people think of America, they are supposed to think of a land of opportunity. America was once the land where people fled to to escape the hardships of their countries.

And now, America is a land of entitlement.

Unless you live under a rock, you know that July 22, 2013 marked the addition of the Royal Baby in England. As I was browsing Facebook yesterday, and was working at my job, I noticed that while I was excited for this historic moment that a lot of people weren’t.  Many people said, “This is America and that’s not American.” Others said, “That baby isn’t any more special than mine.”

Well then.

I read the arrogance; because deep down,  dissing the birth of a child is nothing more than selfish and arrogant. I examined the words and the people that came into the bar that told me I was not American for watching this news. I responded to them with, “If you define being American as being so ignorant that you cannot appreciate or acknowledge the entire planet, then I feel sorry for you. This planet is far more than the United States,  which is a country in turmoil and owned by China.”

So is this what this country has become? A land that is so self-engrossed that it whines about the birth of a child? The Royal family is loved for the reasons it is hated; it’s rooted in tradition and it embraces its people. Not another single leader in the world besides the Pope has the devotion from its people that the Royal Family has. You don’t see people falling over President Obama, that is for sure. People ask why did the Duke and Duchess appear today to the people. Tradition.  And that’s what sets that country apart and above this one. Their people love and respect them because they legitimately show a concern and love their people.

I mean, Lord, just today the news says of another mayor, Weiner, in New York getting in trouble for sexting. You don’t see the royals acting like that, do you?

American entitlement and ignorance. It’s a growing problem and has been for centuries. It doesn’t matter if you’re Chinese, black, Latin or white; this country teaches you to be entitled.

And it’s a damn shame.

Racism is in existence because of entitlement. Racism isn’t about the color of people’s skin; it’s about attitudes.  I am reminded of a time in college at Penn State University when I attended a race relations seminar. As someone who is biracial, people were interested in what I had to say. They were shocked as well because I told them the truth:

I experienced more black hatred from my black father and his family then I did from my white mother.

Shocking? No. It’s not. That’s what racism is all about; allowing your cultural hangups to define your life. I didn’t know there was racial hatred until my father pointed out that there was a skin color difference. Up until then I thought everyone was the same; it was he that made the distinction that he was different. In this same seminar I sat down with a young, black female that was from Africa. She told me of her problems with the African Americans at the school because they told her she wasn’t black enough.

Crazy right? She’s from Africa and they don’t consider her black.

The reason:

She spoke proper English and not ebonics.

Again we have arrogance.  Ebonics doesn’t make you black, and neither does proper English speaking make you not black. Its things like these that make people hate each other. There is no proper way for a race to act; people should not be entitled.  If you want to speak ebonics then fine, but it doesn’t make you black, it makes you sound uneducated. And you know that stereotype that black people love fried chicken? They aren’t frying chickens in Africa;  that’s an American thing. African nations were largely a part of England, so stop saying “This is how my people talk” because thats how American black people think they’re supposed to talk.

Racism…..arrogance.
It all goes hand in hand and these are just a few examples of how this pathetic country has allowed this to exist because of refusing to educate its people. You work for something; you aren’t entitled to anything.

Racism will end when the arrogance ends. Racism will end when entitlement ends.

Arrogance will end when people stop being ignorant to the other countries of the world.

We have one planet and America is well on its arrogant way to ruining the whole planet with its entitlement.

Stop being selfish and start being proactive.  Remember Princess Diana? People loved her and she worked for the people. She helped as many people as she could and her son William is well on his way to following in her footsteps.

Try some of that. And then maybe this country can rebound to the land of the free instead of the land of the entitled.

Uncategorized

DuBois Flood 2013

As I sit here writing this from my Galaxy Note 2, I am playing Yahtzee by lantern light because the electric is out. My mom is kicking my ass.

And I’m one of the lucky ones.

The heavens opened up today and downpoured a bunch of rain on DuBois, Pennsylvania today. All the roads coming in and going out of town are shut down. Three blocks from my house is submerged under water. 

Today I realized two things, one I’m very lucky….

And I’m entirely too dependent on electricity.

I hope my little town recovers. I feel like we can do anything if we come together.

To everyone out there in the wreckage,  stay safe. To those who lost today, I pray for you. And hopefully our electric, and our town, comes back to power.

image

If you can find it in your heart to pray for my town, please do so.

More pictures can be seen on our community website herehttps://m.facebook.com/?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F&_rdr#!/DuBoisLIVEdotCOM?__user=100003329398087

America, Boston Marathon Attacks, Crime Rates, Death, Economics, Family, God, government, Homicide, Ideals, Life Lessons, Loss, Obama, Self Defense, Self Improvement, Terrorism, Tragedy, Uncategorized

The Boston Marathon Explosion in Pictures

This photo was found on the ABC News Website at http://www.abcnews.go.com
This photo was found on the ABC News Website at http://www.abcnews.go.com

As a journalist, seeing the photos released by news organizations of this attack today does not bother me at all. No, it’s not because I am heartless. No, it’s not because I have a strong stomach either. If anything, I have a weak stomach. I don’t find it disrespectful to take these photos because, guess what? EVERYONE needs to know what real life is like! You can’t sugar coat a tragedy and pictures aren’t any more disrespectful than the photo of the girl floating around on social media sites that people say was “Running for Sandy Hook.” SHE WASN’T! Her number showed she wasn’t even running in that race, but people of America are too stupid to investigate that picture and will repost it mindlessly.

But they get upset about blood.

The photo was a fake plastered all over the place of a little girl running in a clearly rural setting saying she died today when an 8-year-old boy died today. That is social media, not real journalism. Because, that was fake.

Photo falsely proclaiming this girl to be running in the Boston Marathon in remembrance of the Sandy Hook victims
Photo falsely proclaiming this girl to be running in the Boston Marathon in remembrance of the Sandy Hook victims

War is real. Terrorism is real. You wouldn’t be the slightest bit upset if it was a terrorist you saw. How many of you felt anything when you saw pictures of Saddam or other terrorists in gruesome fashions? The world is real. You should expect the photos you see to be real. A photojournalist’s job is to capture the raw truth of an image. That’s what you’re getting. It’s not staged. It’s not phony. It’s TRUTH. We are trained with discretion and determine what people need to see. Granted Facebook and Twitter has ruined that because anyone can upload anything now, but the job is to deliver the story. And you can’t tell the story without the blood. You can’t tell the story without the tears.

I mean seriously? Do you expect all the pictures to be of people laying on the ground with no blood and no tears in their eyes at all? Just sitting there??? Is that what you want? An emotionless image that just makes the subjects look like they don’t feel anything at all? I’m just curious. Because that’s not what real life does. People cry. people bleed.

People DIE.

And then act like journalists don’t have souls or boundaries. You wouldn’t even know what happened if you didn’t see the pictures or videos. You would be standing around wondering, “What the hell happened?” Journalists have the hardest jobs. We have to separate our feelings from our work. We have to put ourselves in terrible situations to get the job done. I mean, do you think every photojournalist sits around praying for a bombing or a shooting so that he or she can go take a picture? Do you think that’s what we want to see? Do you think we don’t cry about what we see late at night? No we hope to capture and write about happy moments. But we can’t do that all of the time in this world. We have to show the bad stuff too.

Take it in. And try to make the world a better place so the blood stops. Stop seeing life through a rainbow-colored lens…….obviously, as we saw today, LIFE ISN’T LIKE THAT.

When I get up in the morning, I don’t look for photos of blood and guts from various massacres across the world. However, I think that as Americans we have an arrogance about ourselves that cannot be denied. We don’t want to see war and reality if it’s on the face of our own people.

It is known that most people do not mind seeing pictures of dead terrorists or dead animals. And then people wonder why other countries hate us. We should see reality. No we shouldn’t see it at the age of four, but as young adults and adults we are fully capable of handing the truth. These pictures should show you reality.

This photo was found on the CNN Website at http://www.cnn.com
This photo was found on the CNN Website at http://www.cnn.com

We need to be aware of what we can do to one another.

And we need to change ourselves. But how can we learn if at first we don’t SEE?

The answer is simple: We Can’t

This photo was found on the Business Insider website at http://www.businessinsider.com
This photo was found on the Business Insider website at http://www.businessinsider.com
This photo was found on the New York Post website at http://www.nypost.com
This photo was found on the New York Post website at http://www.nypost.com
Adventure, Beauty, Dating, Family, Feminism, Health, Ideals, Life Lessons, Love, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Sex, Uncategorized, Women

For Good

People change our lives. Time changes our lives. Time and people can be valuable lessons for us to learn. It’s funny. I look back at high school and I see the people I was surrounded by and how much time has changed us all. I see some people and think, “Oh my gosh I know them. But it almost feels like a lifetime ago.”

It’s amazing. I look at the person that I was six years ago when I graduated high school and I have changed so much. Naturally, I’m reflecting because my sister is graduating in a few months. Then she will be off to Clarion University to major in Biotechnology and Molecular Biology (Whatever the hell that means, I just hope she makes some serious cash).

I used to party. Well, I don’t do that anymore and I feel sorry for all of those individuals that chronically go out and can’t accomplish anything because they’re too busy partying.

I know the difference between what is classy and trashy, and congratulations DuBois, you have the trashiest people in the world. But it took me awhile to know the difference. For example, as much as I don’t like a lot of country music, country isn’t trashy. Trashy depends on the person and not their specific clique or interest. I’m sure, in fact I am positive that trashy people exist everywhere. However, DuBois is so small that they abound. I used to try to fit in with everyone. And I am content with who I am now. I’m content with being by myself, in fact I crave it. Granted most of my time is devoted to work and I take in precious moments with Kyle. I also take in precious moments with my friends when we can make our schedules mesh.
I give this advice:
1) Being opinionated is okay, especially if you’re a female. Being loud, obnoxious and stupid is not okay. It’s especially not okay if you’re drunk. So if you don’t have anything remotely intelligent to say and you just want to be trashy, keep your damn mouth shut. No one wants to hear what you would do for free shots; no one wants to hear about your sex life. NO ONE. Life is far too short to sound anything but semi-intelligent. There’s an old saying that poses the question of “Why do all of the smart people stay quiet and all of the stupid people speak loudly?”  Do the world a favor, think before you open your flapping jaws.
2) Know when to keep your mouth shut. Seriously, sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut. Sometimes I have problems with this, but I’m learning that silence is golden. If you have something intelligent to say, by all means please share it with the world.
3) DON”T START OR INFUSE DRAMA. Seriously. It’s not hard. What is hilarious to me is that most people who say, “Oh, I don’t start drama” are the ones that do in fact start it. They won’t ever admit it. You want to talk shit and think you’re tough? Congrats, you are all words. Nothing more. That means if you talk crap on Facebook just to see if someone will react to it that you are, in fact, INFUSING said drama. It’s not cute. If someone calls you out on something and you don’t address the issue with that person, you should. If you fight with people who are younger than you, and then pretend to act like an adult…..YOU AREN’T. Especially true if you’re my age. Come on now. And if you fit into the definition of trashy, and you start drama. You may just have your own MTV show.
4) Now, this will sound super judgmental, but I’m gonna say it anyway: Ladies, if you want a man, advertising that you spread your legs for a million guys won’t get you one. You know how I said be classy? Try that. Because if you dress like a  slop, you’re going to attract a pig. If you try being a little lady-like, wear a cute sun dress that doesn’t show your vagina, don’t cake on the make up so you look like a bad science experiment, and don’t fake bake so much that you look like you rolled in Doritos….well, you just might snag a keeper! Try it. If you’re complaining that you don’t have a guy, perhaps you should try a different route. Instead of looking for love in all the wrong places, try loving yourself enough to not be fake. Now, I’m not saying don’t go out and enjoy sex. You can. But when you advertise it like a billboard, it’s detrimental. Someday, you may want to be married, and your husband may be thinking about the 50 some odd penises that were there before him……I mean, think about it. How would you feel if your potential husband had about 50 vaginas on his dick before yours? Personally I would be turned off. Just a thought. If you don’t want to get married and want to just have fun for the rest of your life, then by all means, mount as many dicks as possible. I would also like to write a disclaimer that I don’t really know what lesbians look for in each other. I think gay guys look for in guys what straight guys look for in girls. BUT. Alas, I do not know for sure. Any gays and lesbians may feel free to comment in efforts to educate me.
5) Be natural. Seriously. I keep saying the most beautiful women I have seen are cancer survivors and pregnant women. You know why? Because they’re raw. They’re real. They aren’t afraid. They represent LIFE. It makes the make-up and tanning seem rather unnecessary.
6) Alcohol just leads to problems. Moderation is fine. But if you’re seriously drinking all the time in excess, you have a problem and you should seek help. It’s not “fun” its bad for your health and it’s detrimental to your life in general.

Now I know life is for living and people should go out and experience it.

But remember, people and situations are lessons. Just like it says in the lyrics from Wicked:

I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better. But because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

And you will be changed, and hopefully it’s for good.

America, Beauty, Economics, Election, Feminism, government, Guns, Health, health care, Ideals, insurance, Life Lessons, Obama, Politics, Self Improvement, Uncategorized, Women

What’s Equality?

I’m opinionated. I know this. So if this offends you, well. It happens.

So. I have this problem. I care about equality for all human beings right….I do. I believe we are all equal and made in God’s image. Okay. So. The government has a certain degree of say in things. Gotcha. And people follow suit. Well. Here is some things to consider about Barack Obama…All things I gathered from speeches and Twitter. He uses pictures to tweet messages

Before Barack Obama became re-elected, he was all for women. Women’s health. Women this. Women that. Good. Okay. Well. I’m a woman, and I don’t have health insurance and when I apply, I have gotten denied. And the prices of most plans to cover what I need are so astronomically high that I would need to spend about $300 dollars to get what I need. On his Twitter feed, there are about six or so photographs related to women’s health, and those were all before he got elected. There’s virtually nothing about healthcare on there. Basically because he’s done nothing but ruin it for me and other people I know. So. I’ve seen no change that was promised. The current minuscule health plan that I do have has seen such a decline in coverage that all it covers is one gyno appointment and my birth control. It doesn’t cover if I get sick or need an antibiotic. It covers one gyno appointment and birth control.

I saw one violence against women picture, perhaps two. But no more that two. And that was before the election. I thought for sure with the Steubenville Rape and Rape culture we live in that he would have posted something. But, sadly, not a damn thing came out of his mouth about this rape case or what can be done to stop things like this from happening. Mmkay. So I was mad about that. Nothing about it on his twitter page at all.

About ten were devoted to the military, merely thanking them for their service.  Nothing about how they don’t get taken care of after they have served the country. The veterans health benefits aren’t that great. In fact before my grandpa passed away he saw such a decline in his health coverage that he ran out of benefits and had to wait until the first of the year to get medication he needed. Again, and insurance issue. A good amount of veterans are unemployed. But. that’s not something I hear about every day on his twitter page.

Gun control took up about 100 photos on the president’s Twitter feed. About facts of gun violence. How everyone should have a right to be involved with the gun debate. Okay. Well. It’s an issue because you’re making it one and you haven’t actually accomplished anything. Everyone knows how I feel about guns. I think the laws are pointless because they can’t stop criminals anyway. About 100 photos were devoted to gay marriage. Which, okay. Fine. I get it. People want gays to marry. Gays want equal opportunity to marry. Go for it.

My problem is the inequality of the seriousness of these issues. It infuriates me that he can focus on what is convenient for him. Two hundred pictures tweeted and devoted to guns and gay marriage. Ten tweets devoted to veterans. A couple of tweets devoted to violence toward women.

Do we see an unequal pattern here?

 

I want health insurance. That’s a basic human right just like loving someone. And I can’t get it because I either can’t afford it or they give me a “get well soon card” I mean, have any of you actually priced health insurance for yourselves? IT’S INSANE NOW. I feel like it’s a basic human right to feel safe and not have rapists able to get minimum sentences for their crimes. I feel like that’s a basic human right too.

I want equality for everyone. Every single person in the world. I think we need to weigh all of these issues. Seriously. I think they are all issues that need to be dealt with. I saw nothing but green for the Newtown shooting and I see all red today to support gay marriage.

So are we going to put up a color for the rape victims and women’s violence? How about the millions of uninsured American people? How about the veterans that don’t get paid nearly enough or get the care they deserve?

We need to make everything a priority. And this includes the president who as of late only focuses on guns and gay marriage. I’m not saying he shouldn’t, but there are many other things to focus on as well. Focus on the fact that some people think rape is okay. Focus on the fact that your healthcare plan isn’t helping everyone and is costing a crap ton of money. Focus on those things too. That’s all I want. There is entirely too much hate in the world to not care about all of the issues. I mean, God, My hometown has to bury a Marine this Thursday. His name was LCPL Josh Martino. There have been rumors that the Westboro Baptist Church will be coming to picket his funeral. This world is full of hate! We need to stop all of it! We need you, Mr. President to make some decisions.

Because, quite frankly Mr. President, I don’t feel very “equal” to a lot of people right now.

RIP to LCPL Josh Martino and those other Marines that died last week. Semper Fi. May peace come to your families.