Beauty, Dating, Ideals, Life Lessons, Love, New Year's Resolutions, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Sex, Uncategorized, Women

The Secret of Life, Part Three

His eyes seemed like endless pools to his soul. What color were they? Brown, maybe hazel. They complimented his skin tone and his smile.

It was safe to say that I was completely and totally infatuated. He even seemed to be reciprocating the feelings. That was a plus, right?

Well, maybe not.

I tried making plans; hanging out, getting food. You know, the usual types of things that I thought would get me what I wanted. And he at least entertained the ideas and said they sounded awesome.

But we never did those things.

Because there was always an excuse he made. Last minute plans….they always so frequently came in right at the exact time we were supposed to be going to dinner. This scenario went on for months, and I let it go on for months. I was on the back burner and I let myself be. I was waiting for a relationship that was never going to happen. It was like a sickness I had. Yet, for some odd reason I couldn’t bring myself to swallow the pill of realization.

I was being played. It may not have been entirely intentional on his part, but I was being played.

Finally, it got to the point where I said it: “Ali, you deserve to date and be with someone who wants to show you off and isn’t keeping you in the shadows. You deserve to have someone who tries to make you happy every single day.”

And on June 10, 2011, I handed my number to this random gentleman in the bar that I had never met before. He was quiet and reserved until he got a couple of shots of Crown Royal in him. I was bartending that night so I gave him said shots, but he had a certain mystery that I could not quite figure out. I went out to the dance floor because the DJ had put on “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. I started to dance and the next thing I knew he came out to the floor to dance with me. At the end of the night I wrote my number on a napkin and handed it to him. He was waiting for it, hoping I would give it to him. Despite his friend’s plea for him to get out of the place. Then I waited for him to text me and I thought I would be waiting for a day, maybe two.

I waited ten minutes and my phone lit up with a good night text. It’s 2013 now, and we have been together ever since.

Part Three: Don’t Settle for Anything Less that You Deserve

I have blogged about my boyfriend before, but I’m not going to talk about him in this blog very much. I’m going to talk about an epidemic that is plaguing the females of the nation, and that is called settling for penny when you could have a 100 dollar bill. If you didn’t get that analogy, I mean, women settling for crappy significant others.

I know quite a few girls that let themselves make this mistake. And I can’t help but wonder what our society has become that this is allowed to happen. Women are more independent than ever it seems with their careers and their money. So why shouldn’t that be the same with love?

The epidemic was probably started because women constantly feel like they are either too fat or worthless to actually deserve a happy relationship. They settle with what they have because they are afraid to go after something bigger and better. It’s sad because all of those things that females are self-conscious about make a lot of men swoon. Then there are women that go back to their exes. Why? What exactly has changed? Because 95% of the time your ex has not changed. Again, we have the worthless factor. “I’m too worthless to actually have a meaningful relationship. So I’m settling for something I know because I am too afraid to try this again.” That’s all it is. There is no logical reason for a woman to stay with someone who treats her like a rock in the dirt when there is someone out there that will treat her like a diamond. There is no reason for a woman to go back to someone who they broke up with that treated her poorly either.

You know how men say, “Man up!” I’m calling all women to WOMAN UP!
You know you’re better, smarter and sexier than settling for a penny. A penny gets you nowhere. It takes 10,000 pennies to make a $100. Why go through that many pennies when you can go straight to the $100? It doesn’t make sense!

Women, I give you these rules:

1) Once a cheater, always a cheater: Unless God intervenes, a tiger will not change his stripes
2) If it looks like a lie and smells like a lie, it’s a lie
3) If your significant other ever, and I mean EVER calls you ugly, or makes you feel less than beautiful, away with them
4) If you break up with him and he says he has changed, you know better. Have you changed? What makes you think he’s had this radical change? His change is probably as legit as a heroin addict that says jail has changed their behavior
5) If a person strings you along, they have no intention of actually committing. Move on
6) A person in the past is meant to stay there, don’t bring them back into your present. Move Forward
7) The Ultimate Rule: You deserve to be head-over-heels ecstatically happy, DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS

The lesson here is not settle for anything less than happiness. Don’t be afraid to move on from the toxicity just because it’s familiar and you’re too afraid to try something new. Try something new. It’s good for you. It may just be the best thing you could have ever done. After months and months of being strung along, I met my boyfriend. He treats me like a princess. Just today he bought my mom a hot water tank for the house because she couldn’t pay for a new system all on her own. His cuddles are the best. Sometimes I take him for granted and I shouldn’t, but it doesn’t stop him from loving me. I have learned how to be myself a little bit better than I was before. I haven’t had to radically change who I am either. I’m still that same, independent woman I was….

I just have someone who appreciates the independence.

And ladies, you deserve the same thing.

Beauty, Health, Heartburn, Life Lessons, Migraines, New Year's Resolutions, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Uncategorized, Weight Loss, Women

The Secret of Life, Part Two

The next part of my series will focus on fitness goals. Everyone needs to be healthy and sometimes that requires sacrifices and determination. The harder the goal , the more people will get let down. People sometimes see fitness as an unattainable goal but it should not be. Health should always be a priority. Start small, but make your goals ever changing. Then you can make the change to a better you.

Part Two: Taking Your Health Into Your Own Hands

“You have a severe upper respiratory infection. You also have strep throat.”

But what about the migraines I have been getting?

“They seemingly get worse around the time of your menstrual cycle, so there isn’t much to be done about them. I would suggest Excedrin with caffeine.”


~Two Months Later~

“You have a severe upper respiratory infection, but what else is the matter?”

Well. I’m having problems with food. I get heartburn a lot and I eat a lot of dairy to cover up the acid because pills don’t really work. And I get a series of migraines for five days right before my menstrual cycle.

“So it’s your PMDD, but there isn’t much to do. As far as the heartburn I need an upper GI exam to determine if you have acid reflux.”

But I don’t have insurance.

“Well. It’s up to you then. I can tell you what I think you should do, but it has to be your decision.”


About a year ago is when this game started. A series of upper respiratory and sinus infections with strep throat. Followed by a week of migraines that came precisely on schedule with my pill pack. Since I got strep throat that one time, which I had never had it before, I began a road of health problems galore.

My sinuses were so clogged and inflamed that the doctor prescribed be a steroid nasal spray. That spray changed everything.

I had been on an over the counter nasal spray for a little bit before I went to the doctor. He recommended that I use this steroid nasal spray to clear the congestion as well as fix the swelling. Unfortunately for me, the spray did nothing but make my nose bleed and burn. And thus, made the clogging and inflammation worse. I gave it the ten day duration with no avail, until finally, I gave up on it and switched back to the over the counter. I began using a neti-pot to help, which does, but much to my surprise and still until this very day, I cannot breathe freely without the help of nasal spray and decongestion medication. The strep throat itself made me feel extremely weak, even for weeks after the antibiotic ran it’s course. After that bout with strep, I have had five other upper respiratory infections. The same thing happens, the weakness and pain, and I find myself chronically longing for my bed rather than doing other activities I enjoyed.

I had had the migraines before because they came like clockwork the week before I was scheduled to have my menstrual cycle. Whether or not the nasal spray that was prescribed me made these migraines worse is yet to be determined. However, much to my dismay, after the bout of strep throat, they also became worse. And if anyone of you has had a migraine, especially one that lasts for at least three days, you know that you can barely function. I find myself taking massive amounts of pain killers, having blurred vision in one or both of my eyes and vomiting at least one of the days of the migraine. After the vomiting, I would end up ultimately going to sleep because no amount of pain killers would numb the pain.

My final symptom was that of chronic heartburn. Every single day I would eat and every single day I would regret it. The gurgling would start in my stomach and make me feel like I have to vomit. It would churn and churn until it made it’s way to my esophagus. Then at night if I was laying down, it would gurgle up into my throat and choke me. Using heartburn medication alone did not help, so I tried to off-set the acid my eating dairy. I got gallons of milk and would drink as much as I could until the pain stopped. When I ordered meals, I would try to get cheese with what I ate to stifle the burning sensation. I stopped drinking pop for a brief time. It became a constant struggle because I wanted to eat, but it was painful. So I would binge when I could to try and avoid the pain. Whenever the pain started I would eat something dairy related to put out the fire. As I write this, my esophagus is burning and I haven’t even ate anything.

The collection of these events has led to one ultimate thing: I am in poor health.

I’ve gained approximately twenty pounds in my battle with all of these symptoms. A good portion of the weight gain has to do with the binge eating because of the heartburn. Along with that it has to do with adding an unnecessary amount of dairy to my diet to make the pain of the heartburn go away. I’m chronically getting these infections that make it damn near impossible for me to breathe on my own without a burning sensation. So, doing hard, physical activity was becoming difficult, thus I stopped doing it regularly. Finally, the migraines put me down for a week every month; with two of those days ultimately leading to me being in bed.

This leads me to today. Last night, I made the decision that despite it all, it’s time to get back onto the fitness saddle, even if it kills me. I would probably be able to take care of these various issues if I had health insurance that covered all of the problems, but I don’t have that option. Everything I would need: a GI exam, a nose and throat specialist and possible neurologist, would come out of pocket. Thus, I am trying another route:

Lesson number two: Don’t let your situations determine your health, even if those situations are health related. I have given myself 60 days to lose 20 pounds in the hopes that a healthier, physical body will force all my other problems to sort themselves out.

I challenge all of you to do the same. The journey will be hard, but we can do this, together. If any of you are trying to maintain your resolution to get fit, I will be there to help all of you in any way that I can. Together we can do this.