Beauty, Dating, Ideals, Life Lessons, Love, New Year's Resolutions, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help, Sex, Uncategorized, Women

The Secret of Life, Part Three

His eyes seemed like endless pools to his soul. What color were they? Brown, maybe hazel. They complimented his skin tone and his smile.

It was safe to say that I was completely and totally infatuated. He even seemed to be reciprocating the feelings. That was a plus, right?

Well, maybe not.

I tried making plans; hanging out, getting food. You know, the usual types of things that I thought would get me what I wanted. And he at least entertained the ideas and said they sounded awesome.

But we never did those things.

Because there was always an excuse he made. Last minute plans….they always so frequently came in right at the exact time we were supposed to be going to dinner. This scenario went on for months, and I let it go on for months. I was on the back burner and I let myself be. I was waiting for a relationship that was never going to happen. It was like a sickness I had. Yet, for some odd reason I couldn’t bring myself to swallow the pill of realization.

I was being played. It may not have been entirely intentional on his part, but I was being played.

Finally, it got to the point where I said it: “Ali, you deserve to date and be with someone who wants to show you off and isn’t keeping you in the shadows. You deserve to have someone who tries to make you happy every single day.”

And on June 10, 2011, I handed my number to this random gentleman in the bar that I had never met before. He was quiet and reserved until he got a couple of shots of Crown Royal in him. I was bartending that night so I gave him said shots, but he had a certain mystery that I could not quite figure out. I went out to the dance floor because the DJ had put on “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. I started to dance and the next thing I knew he came out to the floor to dance with me. At the end of the night I wrote my number on a napkin and handed it to him. He was waiting for it, hoping I would give it to him. Despite his friend’s plea for him to get out of the place. Then I waited for him to text me and I thought I would be waiting for a day, maybe two.

I waited ten minutes and my phone lit up with a good night text. It’s 2013 now, and we have been together ever since.

Part Three: Don’t Settle for Anything Less that You Deserve

I have blogged about my boyfriend before, but I’m not going to talk about him in this blog very much. I’m going to talk about an epidemic that is plaguing the females of the nation, and that is called settling for penny when you could have a 100 dollar bill. If you didn’t get that analogy, I mean, women settling for crappy significant others.

I know quite a few girls that let themselves make this mistake. And I can’t help but wonder what our society has become that this is allowed to happen. Women are more independent than ever it seems with their careers and their money. So why shouldn’t that be the same with love?

The epidemic was probably started because women constantly feel like they are either too fat or worthless to actually deserve a happy relationship. They settle with what they have because they are afraid to go after something bigger and better. It’s sad because all of those things that females are self-conscious about make a lot of men swoon. Then there are women that go back to their exes. Why? What exactly has changed? Because 95% of the time your ex has not changed. Again, we have the worthless factor. “I’m too worthless to actually have a meaningful relationship. So I’m settling for something I know because I am too afraid to try this again.” That’s all it is. There is no logical reason for a woman to stay with someone who treats her like a rock in the dirt when there is someone out there that will treat her like a diamond. There is no reason for a woman to go back to someone who they broke up with that treated her poorly either.

You know how men say, “Man up!” I’m calling all women to WOMAN UP!
You know you’re better, smarter and sexier than settling for a penny. A penny gets you nowhere. It takes 10,000 pennies to make a $100. Why go through that many pennies when you can go straight to the $100? It doesn’t make sense!

Women, I give you these rules:

1) Once a cheater, always a cheater: Unless God intervenes, a tiger will not change his stripes
2) If it looks like a lie and smells like a lie, it’s a lie
3) If your significant other ever, and I mean EVER calls you ugly, or makes you feel less than beautiful, away with them
4) If you break up with him and he says he has changed, you know better. Have you changed? What makes you think he’s had this radical change? His change is probably as legit as a heroin addict that says jail has changed their behavior
5) If a person strings you along, they have no intention of actually committing. Move on
6) A person in the past is meant to stay there, don’t bring them back into your present. Move Forward
7) The Ultimate Rule: You deserve to be head-over-heels ecstatically happy, DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS

The lesson here is not settle for anything less than happiness. Don’t be afraid to move on from the toxicity just because it’s familiar and you’re too afraid to try something new. Try something new. It’s good for you. It may just be the best thing you could have ever done. After months and months of being strung along, I met my boyfriend. He treats me like a princess. Just today he bought my mom a hot water tank for the house because she couldn’t pay for a new system all on her own. His cuddles are the best. Sometimes I take him for granted and I shouldn’t, but it doesn’t stop him from loving me. I have learned how to be myself a little bit better than I was before. I haven’t had to radically change who I am either. I’m still that same, independent woman I was….

I just have someone who appreciates the independence.

And ladies, you deserve the same thing.


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