Being Yourself in Love

Being ‘you’ is a wonderful thing.  One can do what he or she wants and say what he or she feels without the pressures of being judged by others because, well, it doesn’t matter what those others have to say.  Independence is a tool to be utilized in a world full of people who want to follow trends.

With that being said, one may ask, “How do you find love if you’re busy being independent?”

Well, the answer is simple.

It finds you instead.

Confused? Well, that’s half of the fun, because love isn’t something you can plan.  It just sort of happens when you least expect it.  It happens when you’ve given up on love.  It happens when you’re one step away from joining the convent.  It happens when you stop trying to go after the wrong guy.  It happens when you finally realize that being ‘you’ is more important than being someone you’re not.

It happens when you’re not looking for it at all.

And the great thing about that is, if it’s real, you don’t have to lose yourself to make it work.  Whether it’s right for right now, or it’s right for forever and ever, if you don’t have to be fake, then it’s worth it.

So, Ladies, we all know that we obsess over those little things about ourselves that we deem to be damaging.  We then change those things about ourselves in the hopes that we will attract someone.  Whether it’s how we do our hair or the clothes we wear, we change ourselves to something we aren’t just in the hopes of snagging a person we like.  We act the way we think we should act and say the things we think we’re supposed to say.

It’s sad because those flaws, that’s what makes a person special.

And a man, or woman, who really cares…..

he or she will love those flaws.

The next time you look in the mirror and see those love handles and think, “Wow, I look disgusting,” chances are, the right person will be sad that you even thought about yourself in that way.  That little gap between your teeth; well, the right person will tell you how cute it is when you smile. That quirky, little laugh that people make fun of; the right person will tell you how it makes them smile. That booty that you wish you could get rid of because it makes it difficult to find pants that fit; the right person will tell you how sexy it looks in any type of clothing.

Don’t get me wrong, any relationship can be a challenge when obstacles are met. I’m no expert in love, I’m a newbie in uncharted waters.

But, the right relationship isn’t going to make you sacrifice who you are to stay in it.

If you’re looking for love, you should stop.  Stop right now. Love isn’t something you can pencil in on a calendar. Love isn’t something that happens at the precise moment you want it to happen.  Love isn’t going to work when it’s with the wrong person.  Love isn’t going to work if it’s forced.

Love is what happens when you finally decide it’s better to love yourself enough to be who you are.  Love is what happens when you show that true person to the world.  Love is what happens when the right person comes along, out of the blue, and loves the you that you are.

Stop looking; it will find you when the time is right.

And then you can love not only yourself, but someone else.

And that someone else can love the real you.

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